Poor Person Diet

if you are a young person trying to forge their way in a post-collegiate world on a measly 'pay your dues' salary and find yourself struggling to maintain the quality of life you were once accustomed to living ($75 on beer last saturday, nbd, $125 on concert tickets, of course), you may occasionally or often find yourself in the 'oh shit' pocket of poorness that usually arrives around the 1st of the month when this easily forgotten, most likely denied, expense of rent is required - after you've failed to properly budget that paycheck from the 15th and it is still 10 excruciating days until your bank account is replenished by the man.

now usually you can catch yourself with $100 left and 7 days to go and you can clot the hemorrhaging wallet by putting a clothespin on extraneous spending, but sometimes in the truly harsh times after a weekend of reckless abandon (see beer and tickets) you may find yourself in a code red emergency, two steps from bankruptcy with a sudden and total empathy for actual legit poor people. i'm talking $29 to last 10 days, with an empty tank of gas and bills to be paid. having found myself in such dire conditions yesterday (its for this gut punch that i avoid checking bank account at all costs - ironically, if i checked more regularly perhaps such circumstances might be avoided -- the penultimate catch-22 of my quarterlife), i inquired to echance, a true pioneer in the art of dollar stretching as what to do.

in these times of poverty, when you're truly busted there is 1 thing needed for true survival: food. (silence you fasting anoreixic freaks, girl has got to eat). bum rides, take the bus, fill that shampoo bottle with water and shake, bum cigarettes, rock the dirty hipster look but you must feed. yeah, i'm getting primitive here, we're talking urban upper-middle class twenty something survival.

EChance's Poor Person Diet:

Let me show you the way!!!!!! Haha. I've been on this poor person diet for so long it actually doesn't really bother me anymore. But be warned, it is boring, monotonous, and not healthy. I've actually been taking some vitamin supplements lately b/c I'm getting a serious lack of nutrients from the shit I'm eating.

Breakfast and lunch eaten at work. Every. Single. Day.
(if you're not lucky enough to have even a semblance of a kitchen at work - drink coffee, this will suppress your appetite until at least lunch and then continue with dinner options)

Dinner:
1. Ramen - (they are practically free)

2. Tina's frozen burrito - ($.33)

3. Corn Tortillas - (you can get like 50 for cheap)
-with beans (canned refried or black beans are cheap)
-maybe shredded cheese if I am feeling rich

4. Michelina's Lean Gormets (They are like $1 each or something. Ghetto Lean Cuisine)

5. Generic frozen pizza at Ralph's - (only costs $1!)

6. Ralph's has these big bags of pasta that are $1 each, and they last for like 3-4 meals.
-I usually get 3 bags of different kinds of pasta then eat them for a while

7. I always try to have salsa (usually some kind if cheap or on sale), ranch and pasta sauce on hand to spice up my horribly boring diet.
8. Two Buck Chuck - to ease the pain. (my brilliant addition if i do say so myself)

now with a diet like this hopefully i'll learn that next time maybe i don't need to have 4 martini's at the rooftop bar on Bond St., no matter how incredible the view is. also, probably didn't need that bedspread dry cleaned.

thanks to echance, an inspiration. truly a resourceful and enterprising young lady.
please add your tips in the comments section!