Two Buck Chuck On Sale at Trader Joes!!

so I caught an episode of Kathy Griffin My Life on the D-list the other night and I had one serious issue with this episode.  I can't be bothered to give a full rundown, because blog posts of tv episode recaps are lame because its like JFGI or watch the actual episode if you are so damn curious. But basically, in this episode, Kathy hires her mother, Maggie, to run her Facebook page and as one can expect, hilarity ensues. 

Ultimately, Maggie updates Kathy's 'Faceplace' status to read: Kathy Griffin is Two Buck Chuck On Sale At Trader Joes!

For this epic status, Kathy decides she must regretfully fire her momager as her profile manager. And here's what really chaps my ass:

Two Buck Chuck is legendary. For those of you who aren't lucky enough to live in one of the 24 states blessed with Trader Joe's markets, allow me to school you.  Trader Joe's carries a line of wine called Charles Shaw, which at the incredible bargain price of $2 is affectionately nicknamed 'Two Buck Chuck.' Not to be confused with other 'bargain wines' - Chuck is surprisingly delicious and makes Franzia look like the ugly adopted red headed stepsister. But seriously, I can't even put it in the same category because Chuck wins awards and shit. Let me put it this way, you can bring Chuck over to watch Gossip Girl - classy. You cannot do this with wine in a box - trashy. So, now that we've established the merits of Charles Shaw, let's explore the second part of Maggie's status. Two Buck Chuck ON SALE?!!?! What?!!? God Bless America, Charles Shaw for less than 2 bucks?! A buck and two quarters Chuck - what a deal! Totally status worthy. Had I ever seen a status of such merit, I would've:

a. clicked that new thumbs up 'like' feature

b. posted a comment proclaiming my utter excitement and appreciation for the knowledge  

c. updated my own status to spread the good word. 

So, in conclusion, Kathy: you are a cold hearted bitch to fire your benevolent and altruistic herald of a mother over this status.  I'm pissed and think your hair sucks - Bravo, give Maggie her own spin off, she's where its at. at the very least, i'd like to see Maggie create her own facebook page, i'd log on daily just to check her statuses and vlogs. 

another golden Maggie moment

okay, so maybe that was a bit of a recapping, but i did leave out the parts about Paris Hilton saying how her mother always taught her that only ugly girls get on their knees. Ha! you whore - that's not what the back cover of the copy of 'one night in paris' that is sitting in my bedside table right now says - remind me to get that back to you EC.