Move over Ted Bundy

the craigslist killer 

it is me or does this sound like the plot to a straight to pay-per-view b horror flick staring Chad Michael-Murray as the killer, Tara Reid as the vegas hooker, Alexis Bledel as the loyal fiance and Lindsey Lohan as the whorish masseuse advertising her 'happy ending' on craigslist.  I demand a promotion when this shit hits Cinemax. 

this ho is lucky he's off the streets

webster hall: don draper would never set foot here

Read how now you can 'poke' that cute girl across the bar without ever having to talk to her 

“Beautiful, geeky girls, they want to talk to that geeky guy,” he said. “But, the guys, they just don’t know how to deal with that."...“How about a live Twitter-like feed on a screen—you’re sitting next to her, and you’re both looking at the screen; it’s easy to use your geekness.”

Essentially, 'geeky' synonymous with 'coward' here. Maybe, in my stubbornness, I am too resistant to this inevitable change in the way the human race interacts, but the idea of twittering a drink ticket to a girl is just fucking lame and will only perpetuate the extinction of 

real men in this world. Being a creature of extreme awkwardness, I empathize with the amount of pressure a guy must feel when he takes a risk and allows himself to be vulnerable in the face of possible rejection by a cute girl. However, rejection is, while painful, an essential part of life which teaches us strength.  How would we ever grow without the occasional kick in the nuts. You think Don Draper would text message a girl 'Hey you, in the pink skirt—meet me at the bar in the Marlin room and I’ll buy you a martini.'

Hell No!

He'd slide up next to her martini in hand, place it before her and extend his hand to introduce himself. But seriously, look...we don't expect Don Draper - it's a tall dark and handsome order - just be yourself and don't hide behind the Blackberry, it makes your penis look small. 

                                                                          

Green Porno

Whoever said educational videos couldn't be hilarious and trippy severely underestimated Isabella Rossellini...

Check out "Bee" of Rossellini's bizarre and brilliant 'Green Porno' series... 

Watch the rest of 'Green Porno' on the Sundance on demand channel or here on YouTube. In her own words "It's just fun!"

Many many many thanks to EChance for suggesting this on demand gem last night. It's been a very long time since I've laughed that hard couchin' it with Chinese food. 

update: Green Porno 2 is now available on SundanceChannel.com where Rossellini teaches us how sea creatures do the deed. 

for the occassion

article

The Nightman Cameth and It. Was. Good.

On Friday, the fruits of my jambase trolling labors were enjoyed in the biggest way... 

About a month ago, I spotted a listing for 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (LIVE)' on an events calendar. Being a huge fan of the show, I purchased my $20 immediately despite having absolutely no idea what to expect. Would they merely perform the songs from that episode? Would Danny DeVito be there demanding the troll toll? Despite being a minor character, would our beloved Artemis make an appearance?

Well, too our (I was accompanied by the lovely Ms Crow) utter glee, not only did they act out the entire episode but happily, the packed audience bolstered such enthusiastic cheers at all my favorite jokes.  It is a rare occurrence to find yourself among such kindred spirits -- the incredible delight I felt when the dude next to me cheered 'Artemis!' upon her unveiling was indescribable.  We giggled like idiots -- giddy from the sheer joy of seeing Danny DeVito merely 5 feet away in full troll gear.  

I felt humbled Friday, realizing how very lucky I am to live in a city where I can experience such amazing / unique things. 

Since my iphone effing sucks and wont email my shitty pics to myself and because no one has uploaded any videos from this show that I've been able to find, here are some clips, picture it LIVE:

 

(this part was so classic seeing it live...Charlie finding her in the audience among us, was so interactive, i felt like I was actually part of this episode - hilarious)

and of course