Urban Word of the Day: March 12th

March 12: Social Notworking

The practice of spending time unproductively on social-networking websites, especially when one should be working.

Example - Dude, Mark is constantly updating his Facebook status, does he not have any work to do? 

when you look this up you'll probably see a picture of my face pre-lent...

and let's be honest, probably post-lent

Vamos a divertirnos como enanos!

Tomorrow, the Golden Girls do Spring Break:

 

Best advice I've received today on my Mexico travels:

Cool = Que Padre

Kiss My Ass = Besa Mi Culo

What do I know = Que se yo

Shit = Mierda

You're fucked = Estas en el horno (literally: you're in an oven)

You're fucking with me/don't fuck with me: No mames

I would not do that even if I was drunk = Ni en pedo

Have a whale of a time = Se diviertirse con un ano (literally: have fun with a midget)

Tips:

If you get the tourista take CIPRO 

oh and: "valum" "vikatin" "hidrocodino"

*but ojo with those...ojo means watch out 

*CORRECTION:  midget is actually enano, se diviertirse con un enano. not ano. ano is butthole. don't have fun with ano, or do -- different strokes for different folks. 

Courtesy (literally copied and pasted) of Jess, the most cultured and worldly gal I know

Second Best Advice I've received today:

I HOPE YOU ARE SAFE IN CABO. THEY HAVE PUT A TRAVEL ADVISORY FOR CABO AT THE STATE DEPT. AND ARE ASKING YOUNG PEOPLE NOT TO GO THERE FOR SPRING BREAK, BECAUSE OF AN ABUNDANCE OF VIOLENCE. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS,AND DON'T GET BLIND DRUNK AND LOSE ALL REASON IN AN UNREASONABLE WORLD.

Courtesy of my mother

(I wish I could roll my eyes at the blind drunk comment, but let's face it -- its good advice and she knows me too well)

Download: 

James Taylor - Mexico

if only i could figure out how to embed single songs here, that would be baller

So badass

Why this crapfest I call a blog is going to be a regurgitation of other people's hilarious and original insights...

Fantastic breakdown of the 20 types of facebook profile poses of the male species...

http://www.2birds1blog.com/2008/04/20-male-poses-of-facebook.html

via 2birds1blog

F YOU, FML!

Since FML refuses to post my hilariously true FML story, I'm posting it here:

"Today my friend and I were checking out guys at the pool. When I pointed out a guy for her - she exclaimed "Ew no! I would NEVER date someone with braces!" I have braces. FML"

good, no?

note: this is from many many years ago, I no longer have braces. THANK GOD HALLELUJAH PRAISE BE TO JESUS!!!!
ooooohh....YOU have braces? FYL.

Urban Word of the Day: Inbox Rot

March 10: inbox rot

To neither accept, nor decline a friend request from someone on Facebook or Myspace. Used in situations when you don't want to accept someone's friend request, but you also don't want to be rude by declining them.

Dude, that asshole friend of my girlfriend just sent me a friend request on Facebook. He's getting the inbox rot.

Retraction:

holy shit! It's already 6:33pm! 

Always the clock-watcher, It is a rare occasion when I am pleasantly surprised by those 3 taunting digits. 

I forgive you DST for taking away my hour. 

Judicial Catch-22

Today, the judge told me I didn't qualify to pay my debt to society with community service because I was employed. I owe the court $550 and overdraft preetty much every month just to get by. FML

p.s. don't EVER violate the gridlock law in Santa Monica. 

Deal with it Markelle!!!!

Most brilliant obscure pop-culture reference to use when frustrated at co-workers/roommates/etc after an hour is stolen from you by the un-holy daylight savings time today: 

DEAL WITH IT MARKELLE! 

(in the words of Rose McGowan - learn it, live it, love it -- 10pts for identifying that reference)

States that get props for saying 'Eff you Daylight Savings Time' today: 

Arizona and Hawaii (you guys are so subversive and I like it)

State that is a pussy for giving in, in 2005 and doin' what all the cool kids were doing (Dude, what? You don't do DST?): 

Indiana (way to stay lame and indistinct)

P.S. I would embed youtube videos, but I don't know how to do that....

I'm old school like that. (edit: I figured it out -- I don't want to know the amount of things I could know if only I'd learn to read directions)